Hewlett Packard, HP Sucks :)

Two reasons I’ll never purchase another HP product.

1)  They suck.

2)  They suck.

Ok, that’s not a good enough reason, right?  Why do I think HP sucks?

December 31st, 2016, I was in the market for a laptop, so I could be productive on the go.  I needed this for both professional and educational purposes.  Being that I am a creative, my logic told me to get a Mac, but I already have an iMac, and the Apple monopoly can be a pain.  I thought I would give HP a chance.  My sister was quite happy with her HP Spectre 360.  I wanted a bigger screen and a few other specifications.  The IT guy in Best Buy suggested a couple of products that would suit my creative needs.  I settled on the HP Envy 360.

Things started out ok.  I was off and running.  School started, freelance work was picking up, and all was well.  Until one night, a little over a month had gone by, and I changed my background on the screen.  Now that I had a dark background, I noticed multiple glowing areas in my monitor.  At first, I thought nothing of it, but then they seemed to multiply the next day.  On top of that, I had a ghost in the machine.  The pointer would occasionally jump all over the screen, clicking and pointing wherever it pleased.  I was already beyond the 15-day Best return policy, so I called HP to see about getting a replacement under the warranty.

After spending over an hour on the phone with HP “Support”, explaining to her that this was not something that could be fixed over the phone (because it’s a defect), yet entertaining her instructions all the while, I was transferred to a dial tone__________disconnected.

I called back. Now, another 1.5 hours into troubleshooting, the tech FINALLY agrees to let me send my laptop in for repair, but he says it will take 5-10 days to repair.  I explained, “I can’t go without my laptop for 5-10 days.  That’s 2 weeks in business language, and I can’t do business, without my laptop.”  I asked the tech if they would send me a loaner computer until they can fix mine, or voucher to replace it at Best Buy.  DENIED.  As I was still insisting that I needed my computer, he escalated the call.

Again, I was told that it would take 5-10 days to repair my computer.  Again, I explained that this was not acceptable.  The case manager, Kevin eventually “guaranteed” me that if I send him my laptop, he would have it back to me in three, that’s one, two, three days. (1st lie) While this was still a huge burden, it sounded better that 2 weeks.  I sent my laptop in.  After 4 days later, hearing nothing from HP, I contacted Kevin.  This was his reply, on February 21st. (2nd lie)

Hi Jeshima:  First of all, I want to apologize for the inconvenience, I’m totally aware of the situation you’re going through, the unit will be shipped out today and as soon as I have a tracking number a will email to you, you should be receiving your computer tomorrow by the afternoon or by night, let’s keep our fingers cross and have a little faith.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your continued support of HP Inc.”

Kevin, 
Case Manager
HP Inc. AMS TCO Escalations Team
Tel: 1-877-917-4380 Site Code 24, Extension # 33172

 

Keep our fingers ‘cross’, and have a little faith???  Really, Kevin?  Needless to say, my laptop was not shipped that day.  Now, if you know me, you know I have a lot of patience.  But, at this point my zero tolerance for bullshit was settling in.

February 22nd, I reached out to Kevin, yet again.  Now Kevin admits to me that my laptop has not been fixed, and cannot be fixed.  He offers to send me a replacement, which will take two weeks.  In the meantime they will ship me back my defect.  But, for him to expedite the process, I now must PROVE TO HIM MY INCONVENIENCE.  He requests my busniess card, student ID, web page, and number of other things during the phone call, and a never-ending trail of e-mails.

Is this Customer Support, or Customer Interrogation?

From: HP Support <amr_en_hpcasemanager_leo@hpservice.support.hp.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:00 AM
Subject: RE: support event #3036674647 [ ref:_00DG0h8qk._5002 [ ]

Hi Jeshima:

Do you have a webpage or facebook page?

Regards Kevin

 

From: HP Support <amr_en_hpcasemanager_leo@hpservice.support.hp.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:00 AM
Subject: RE: support event #3036674647 [ ref:_00DG0h8qk._5002 [ ]

 Hi Jeshima:

Any chance you could send me a picture of the receipt that states the total amount of money that you paid for the computer, usually Best Buy sends out an email with it, can you forward that email to me, or can you take a screen shot of it and send it to me?

Regards Kevin

 From: HP Support <amr_en_hpcasemanager_leo@hpservice.support.hp.com>
Date: 2/22/17 1:52 PM (GMT-05:00)
Subject: Re: support event #3036674647    [ ref:_00DG0h8qk._5002    [ ]

Hi Jeshima:

Any chance you could send me a proof that you’re in college, a picture of a student ID or a college schedule would help me out, in order to accelerate the replacement process.

Regards Kevin

WTF?!

MARCH 17th, (That’s right, one month after my initial call.)  I opened the box of my replacement laptop.  It was not the same model.  I contacted Kevin, again to explain that they sent me the wrong computer.  Brace yourself, the lies have not ended just yet.

Hi Jeshima:

I just talked to a HP.com supervisor and he told me that this is normal, since your unit is a CTO, customized to order, you got the newer version of the HP Envy 2017 and that is the reason of why you have another product number and it looks different, he told me that every time they put a unit together they use the newest models and that when you received the computer, you should have received a sheet that it reads “PACKAGING LIST” you’ll find the specs of the unit listed there, and they should be exact or better than the ones that I’ve offered you on the product replacement email.

So don’t worry, the computer you had before was a 2015 – 2016 model, this one is a 2017 model. That is why is different.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your continued support of HP Inc.

Kevin,
Case Manager
HP Inc. AMS TCO Escalations Team
Tel: 1-877-917-4380 Site Code 24, Extension # 33172

 

Why do I say this is a lie?  Because what tech company do you know of that advertises an old product on their webpage?  The computer I initially purchased looked like the one on the HP website.  The computer they sent me looks like something out of last decade.  I pointed this out to Kevin in another e-mail (two actually), and asked which version was pictured on HP.com, because that is what I purchased, and that is what I expected to receive.  No reply.  Oh, I did get a follow up survey.  But, I couldn’t fit all this in there.  I guess Kevin learned that he shouldn’t put his lies in writing.

Oh, and that POS they sent me?  I was never able to fully transition to that laptop.  It never worked properly, ran slow, wouldn’t update correctly, and it crashed.  Do you think I’m going to call HP Customer Support, and spend another 3 hours troubleshooting?

HP sucks.  Back to work.

…Bless their lying hearts.

 

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